Saturday, September 5, 2015

One Grape Day



* Health  * Happiness  *Home
I have many many stories and pictures to share of Home and Hospital times (Make a Wish to Florida too) and hope you will join me on my blog often as I share this incredible girl and her faith with you!

We have had the absolute best summer imaginable!
We have learned that each day is a gift!
A beautiful gift from God.  
Each and Every day - be it hard or normal, adventurous or bitter-sweet  
The good - where we make memories and take adventures, laugh and play games, sew and sing, bike and hike.
The hard and bad - where we  also make memories and watch movies and read books and give back massages and foot baths and try to distract from the pain or sick.   

A common thread of every day is Faith and Hope.  The Faith and Hope of an Eternal Family.  God.  God is a constant.  He is with us - through His Spirit that is in our hearts. And grows through Scripture, Prayer and Primary Songs.  They see us through.

Can you believe all this hair?  
River is on home chemo - 5 days of chemo - cycle every 21 days.
River rarely has pain these days.  And minimal nausea.  How blessed we are!
Here is her 1st day of school:
River is in 4th grade - she made the 1st 2 weeks of 3rd grade and the last few days for just an hour or two.  River's class theme:  pirates 
Silver's theme:  cowgirl.  

Silver even had a cowgirl outfit for the first day of class!

This is my big helper and biggest sister while River and Silver is at school.
Summer wants to be called Kit from now on.  Kit is the name that we almost named her.  
It fits her perfectly -  cute, fiesty and cuddly.
Summer's birthday is August 29.  We decided to keep her home for one more year of Preschool.  They grow up so fast - I will cherish every day I get with this one.
Joy School and Kindermusik!

Tanzi and Summer.  
My two sweetie pies - I am so blessed to be their Mommy! 
We have learned to make adventures - there is no time like the present to make memories.
We were driving home from a ward campout when we found this little gem of a spot - a culvert under the road turned into a wolf symphony.  
VIDEO:  River, Silver and Colt 
Wolf Symphony


River always has her camera with her.

River loves to take pictures, videos and to keep a record of the things she sees and experiences.  She is an example to me - every day before bed she reads her scriptures, says her prayers and writes in her journal.  She calls her journal "My Childhood"  She writes everything in there:  Where we sit in church, her feelings, songs that she makes up, etc.  She also keeps a scripture journal where she writes down by topic her favorite scriptures.  

She still has a drain from her last surgery: #7 
She puts the drain in her cute purple bag which goes with her everywhere!  
It holds her sanitizer, g-tube care supplies, meds, thermometer, etc.  All the essentials we need are with her everywhere we go.  

Surgery 1: Biopsy of liver

Surgery 2:  Place port and G-tube

Surgery 3: Chest tube to drain fluid out of lungs

Surgery 4:  Embolization to place chemo directly where it was needed in the liver.

Surgery 5: HUGE Major Surgery!  80% of Liver removed, Diaphragm on right side, 8 spots of lungs.
River used to get major headaches all the time since Kindergarten.  She was only able to draw or color or read for about 10 minutes before headaches hit.  Since her surgery, she has not had a headache!

Surgery 6:  New Port - Placed Higher than last time - The 1st port was low - placed for modesty for girls.  We loved the placement.  It is that surgeon's trademark to place them low like that - very unusual and we appreciated it so much.  You usually never know how good you have it until it is gone.  Now that it is higher we miss the 1st one, but are SO grateful to have a port!  Much much better than IVs!

Surgery #7:
Remove large pocket of fluid from abdomen.  It was distending her belly there was so much buildup.  It was not abnormal after such a large liver surgery.

River has the best attitude through all of this:
It doesn't hurt too bad!  (compared to before pretty minor!)
Before surgery I need to scrub her down with sanitizing wipes - it makes you cold and sticky!  And then she gets to put on lovely hospital jammies that tie in the back.  She says

"At least I don't have to do this every day!"

The power of perspective!  She was getting up and going to the bathroom after only a few hours in recovery.  She was fully appreciating it, remembering how hard it was to just sit up after her major surgery.  5 months later the pain of those days is distant enough to not be so raw.  I am finally able to write about it here.

Being awake was to be in pain.  Intense pain.  To deliver the pain meds necessary to make her comfortable would have been too much for the body and she would have stopped breathing.
Just to reposition to prevent bedsores was agony.  To change the sheets and give her a sponge bath Colt stepped in the hall for privacy.  It tore out my heart to have to inflict such pain - but also the greatest honor to be "Mommy" and have the privilege to help my daughter in such a crucial moment.  Colt said that he heard someone hollering and felt bad for that child.  Then he realized that that child was River.  :(

The longer the gut is asleep for surgery, the longer it takes to wake it up and start things flowing.  They clean out the intestines with a powerful laxitive before surgery.  Gas buildup and starting to move again was intensely painful...suppositories, enemas...
After they removed the catheter River was pretty anxious about making it to the potty as she hadn't yet been able to swing her feet over the side of the bed.  But when nature called they brought in a bedside comode.  She took one look at that and decided that it was worth any cost to have a private bathroom and trekked across the room to the potty.  One tough cookie!

River was hooked up to 17 different lines:
*IV monitoring blood pressure
*oxymyter to measure oxygen in blood
*oxygen tube to deliver oxygen to nose
*4 electrodes to monitor heart
*4 IV lines running to her 2 central lines in her neck:
One for her pain meds that she got to push a button to have meds when needed,
TPN:  IV nutrition
Fluids
*2 chest tubes draining her lungs
*2 JP drains to drain abdomen.
*G tube drain - to pump things out of her tummy,
Replaced by G tube feeding in later on
*Catheter
It was quite the effort to get out of bed to the bathroom or to change positions and get to the chair or back into bed.  We had to be aware of every line.  Either unhook it or take it with us carefully.

We started slow after several days to let her body get used to food again.
Ice Chips
Water
Slushee
Pink Lemonade
Formula - G tube feeds
Then the day came where the surgeon said that River needed to start eating solid foods.
In Extreme pain and nausea you don't feel like eating very much.  To wean off the pain meds also increased the nausea.


1 Corinthians 3:2

  • New Testament
I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.

Then there came a day when Surgeon Myers said that today she needed to eat.  Start on fruit.
The cafeteria in Primary's is AMAZING!  We had a fruit platter sent up:  an assortment - we found that when food was infront of her she would sometimes surprise us all and sample some.

One grape

I did it!  I ate!

One Grape

And it was enough

It reminded me that God's grace is sufficient!

Moroni 10:32

  • Book of Mormon
Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; 
and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, 
mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be 
perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise 
deny the power of God.

2 Corinthians 12:9

  • New Testament
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect 
in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power 
of Christ may rest upon me. 


Visitors from home!

The pics remind me of memories - 
The lines are not so crisp and defined, but mellowed and sweet.  


Summer (oh, she reminds me often it's Kit!) and Silver

River made remarkable progress - She amazed everyone from Nurses to Doctors and Surgeons.  She would push herself a little more to do a little more each time she got up to practice on lungs a little more.  Slowly but surely we got rid of tubes one and a time.  

Crafts!




Lung Exercise Art.
She would use syringes (same as for her gtube) to drop watercolor on a page.   Then with a straw blow the paint around. 


River with Rabecca Myers - 
Special Surgeon!

Before Surgery #7

After Surgery - With handmade Necklace River made for her.

River was practicing with her wheelchair for when she is too weak for walking - she gets around pretty good!

Laughing so hard it hurts!
Daddy is a tease :)

Uno Attack!


One of our favorite songs:
Dream Big by Ryan Shupe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8okOgw-jn4

Ether 12:27
Book of Mormon
 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Rough Roads and Good Samaritans

Ronald McDonald House elevator door

Tuesday morning found us in the clinic for blood draws and port access.  CT scans followed - this time they needed oral contrast as well as IV contrast.  They asked River to put down 750 mls of contrast.  This kiddo has a sensitive stomach these days and half of that later - she was sick!  We managed to keep it down and they proceeded with only half instead of throw it up and have to try again.  

Oncologist pulled up the scans with us.  
*No new cancerous growth!
*Large fluid pocket in abdomen.   Not sure at this point what this is - normal fluid or bile build up.  
*2 spots in the liver don't look normal.  This isn't to say that they are cancerous - just not normal looking.  This could be swelling and trying to recover from surgery.  
*Left lung had one or two cancerous spots in it - that was 1/2 the size of spot before.  Two months ago there were around 8 spots.
We met with the surgeon the next day and asked what her AFP was.  She said that as of that morning there were no results yet, but let's look them up.  She pulled up AFP of 28!!  Tears started to roll down her face of how fantastic this is!!

She said that they would like us to stay in town until a good plan to move forward from here was made.  They have decided to put River on a maintenance chemo that she can do from home for the summer.  August 11th will be scans to check how lungs, liver and the fluid are doing.  

Friday we set out for home.  It was Elder Perry's funeral and traffic was stop-and-go from SLC south.  As I slowed to yet another stop my van started shaking and shut off.  It would not start!  River and I were completely stuck in freeway traffic.  4 lanes over.  No shoulders on either side of the road.  Traffic started to pick up and soon cars were whizzing by on either side of us.  The cars that were stuck behind us had a hard time getting around because the other lanes were moving so fast!
911 was fantastic and said that they had heard a police already radio in that he had seen me and was coming to the rescue.  Thousands of cars passed us, and all we could do was to put our hazard lights on and pray.  One car even pulled up ahead of us and then backed up down our lane and hopped out to see if he could help.  

He came right as our Highway Patrol rescuer was pulling up behind us. He made sure first the car couldn't start.  Then stopped all 4 lanes of traffic by going into the lanes to flag down the cars to stop.  Putting my van into neutral he was able to push me with his big truck to the nearest shoulder where a Highway Patrol just happened to be.  

New stickers on my van :)
Complete with full tank of gas, oil change 2 days before and 4 brand new tires.

I was questioned many times how I was?  
FANTASTIC!  
River and I were alive!  Safe!  Out of the Hospital!
Not nauseous!  It was a beautiful day with the perfect temperature- not too hot or too cold, with a breeze blowing past us and a gorgeous view of the rocky mountains, a temple on the hill and a flag blowing in the breeze.  

This sickness has brought a lot into perspective for me.  This is just a thing.  A thing that happens to not start and needs a completely new engine.  But just a thing.  We are okay.  And we have each other.  It will be okay.

 And I get to cross off vacuuming out the van off my to-do list this week!

We saw many tender mercies through this whole adventure.  But the biggest ones were miracles of the heart.  My heart was touched and others including tough mechanics were touched by River's journey, her vibrant spirit and sweet heart.

Tow trucks and mechanic shops, highway patrol officers.  Good friends and family helped drive us from mechanics to their home where we spent the night, got dinner, and borrowed a chitty (off of chitty chitty bang bang - what we call our cars) to get home.  

Words cannot describe how nice it is to all be home together.

River Saying see you later to Tanzi

Our stow-away.  Tanzi is NOT about to be left behind.  When duffel bags start getting packed, Tanzi packs herself in the van.  She crawls in her carseat and will not budge!  She is coming along too!

Glad to see Daddy!


River started to get fuzz up top!
We teased her that she looked just like her chick.  Cute Chicky Fuzz.

Making a treasure map with Susan!  
Our amazing crafting friend :)



When counts and energy are good we enjoy Zumba!

Silver's Report about Sea Otters.

This was such a great time to spend researching Silver's new favorite animal!
Sea Otters are super playful.  Did you know that they wrap their babies in sea weed to keep them in the same spot while hunting for food?  


She enjoyed it SO much!  We watched videos of them and spent several days researching.  
Fun, Fun, Fun!


Ronald McDonald House luggage cart.

Music Therapy in the hospital.

We have a new favorite nurse - Liz!
She was fantastic, and River got a matching scrub top!
Scrubs are my new favorite Mom outfit!
Pockets :)



Playing Cards!

"The Hand of God"
Yongsung Kim
  1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
    When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
    Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
    And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
    • Refrain:
      Count your blessings, name them one by one,
      Count your blessings, see what God has done!
      Count your blessings, name them one by one,
      *Count your many blessings, see what God has done.
      [*And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.]
  2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
    Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
    Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
    And you will keep singing as the days go by.
  3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
    Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
    Count your many blessings—*money cannot buy [*wealth can never buy]
    Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
  4. So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
    Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
    Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
    Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Say Your Prayers and Keep on Shootin'

When Colt was a little boy he was playing Cowboys and Indians with his Dad one night and suddenly it was dark and they were "surrounded".  Teasing him a little, Colt's Dad asked him,  "Oh No! What are we going to do?" Clutching his gun with all seriousness- Colt's answer: "Say Your Prayers and Keep on Shootin'!"

Colt's sister Shado embroidered that onto a piece of cloth that has gone with Colt on his mission, to college, and now sits by his computer.


Have you ever felt surrounded?  Odds definitely not in your favor?  What are we going to do?

1,444,287 AFP - cancer tracer.  (normally around 20-30)  Surrounded.  Completely surrounded...
Say your prayers and keep shootin' - move forward - and know whatever the outcome - God has heard your prayers.  He is there.  He is aware.

Say Your Prayers:
D&C 98:1-3   Verily I say unto you my friends, Fear not, let your hearts be comforted, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks; waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord...All things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name's glory, saith the Lord.

Keep on Shootin':
D&C 128:22  Shall we not go on in so great a cause?  Go forward and not backward.  Courage, bretheren; and on, onto the victory!  Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad.

AFP today:  53
Words cannot describe how amazing this is.
(There is a more recent test than this picture with results of 53 - done in May.)



Go Forward and Enjoy the Summer!

I know of no better way of enjoying summer than eating corn on the cob outside


River Made her Wish:  Destination Florida -
Deep Sea Fishing and gathering sea shells on the beach.
Flying on an airplane for the first time and Disney World.
Tentative plans for mid-July.

I have felt that we need to share this amazing little girls attitude, faith and endurance through this chapter of our lives more than I have lately - so here is my commitment to blog weekly!  It's not perfect but it's real life!

We head to Salt Lake tomorrow to meet with Doctors, review scans since the last surgery and 2 rounds of chemo and then meet with Surgeon to see what the next steps are. Whatever the future holds we are going to "Say our Prayers and Keep on Shooting!" :)